Beach Season

Our Coleman Backpack Shelter and the smaller Catalina Speed Shelter- both are very portable

We packed up and left early today for the beautiful beach at Port Burwell which is on the north shore of Lake Erie. The provincial park here has one of the few dog beaches close enough to us for a day trip. It was only 23 C today but the sun was hot and the dry sand was uncomfortable for bare feet and dog paws. The water temperature was 17 C which was very cold in contrast and I didn't see any swimmers in the water. 

Izzy and Tofu

The beach dogs played well together and dog owners are generally a friendly group of people. The dog on the left was Izzy. Tofu, on the right, was not too thrilled with her orange bathing suit which may have been for fashion or sun protection. We saw a Great Dane called Malcolm and an all-Canadian mutt named Timbit. Canadian dogs do not know how well they are treated compared to their unfortunate relatives in poorer countries. 

A little further along a group of adults played a game I had never seen before. My daughter, who seems to know about everything new informed me it is called "testicle toss". Two balls attached by a length of string are tossed onto the frame for points. I checked it out when I got home, and sure enough, this is a nickname for a game that is sold under the more polite name of Ladder Ball or Ladder Toss.

My sister-in-law Shirley used to pack enormous, delicious beach lunches filling a big cooler with salads, submarine sandwiches, cold chicken and desserts. We keep it very simple with cucumber sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs and fruit. No day at the beach is complete without an ice cream cone.

This hammock cot with a canopy is ideal for anyone wanting to snooze to the sound of the surf. This beach is not crowded and there are no restrictions on sun shelters. Grand Bend is a very popular destination on Lake Huron but no sun shelters, canopies, tents or dogs are allowed on the beach. But we have many beaches to choose from on Lake Huron, Erie and Ontario that are within a 2 to 3-hour drive from our home. And this is a good year for "staycations" with record-breaking gas prices and air travel disruptions. 

First Day of Summer

Today is the first day of summer and it is hot in our area after a cool and wet start to the month. People complained about 33 C temperatures but I saw people today wearing hoodies. I expect they came from countries where hot is more like 40 to 50 C. 

I enjoyed a beautiful morning bike ride to work and my trip home was also enjoyable as my route is along a shaded trail. Multiflora roses are an invasive species introduced to North America from eastern Asia in the late 19th century. The trail is fragrant with the blooms of this naturalized rambling shrub that cascades over creek banks, low trees and logs. Wild daisies, buttercups and other wildflowers are blooming in the meadows. 

I start anticipating the summer solstice as we mark the winter solstice on December 21st. When the early darkness of November and December reaches its peak I know that slowly, a minute or two at a time, the days will start to lengthen. I try not to think about the shortening days that start tomorrow as we head toward the winter solstice again. 

I have been experimenting with different iced tea and coffee recipes. I purchased a cold brew coffee filter that sits in a quart-sized mason jar. The homemade cold brew tastes just as good if not better than cold brews at local coffee chains.

I am enjoying a refreshing iced tea made with Earl Grey tea, chopped fresh ginger, fresh mint leaves which grow well in my garden, and lemon juice. It can be sweetened but the flavour is excellent without sugar. Here is the basic recipe. 

I bought a box of "family-sized" teabags which make one gallon of iced tea per bag. Each teabag is the size of my Kindle reader. I am not a great fan of American-styled plain iced tea but will give these a try with a twist of lemon and some simple syrup. I am not a fan of sugary drinks and find canned and bottled iced tea excessively sweet. My mother-in-law made the best iced tea using leftover tea with lots of real lemon juice and a bit of sugar. I will try to replicate her "recipe" that she made by instinct for a picnic we are planning later this week.

Summer is the time for simple suppers. Tonight I cooked 2 cups of dried pasta and added chopped tomatoes, spring onions, peppers, celery, cheese cubes, and corn to the drained pasta. The dressing was a drizzle of avocado oil, an equal amount of lemon juice, and a spoonful of sugar, salt and pepper.  The salad could be made a hundred ways with different vegetables and protein options. 

Happy summer! Enjoy every day. 

Fighting Gravity

 I was looking through a slide show of medical slang terms on Medscape and had to chuckle at the image above. I had never heard the term "Computer Face" used before. Gravity is unopposed when we sit in front of a screen for long periods of time without moving our facial muscles, thus speeding the development of an aging visage. As a sexagenarian, I am familiar with the effects of the earth's force on external and internal body parts. "Six feet under" is gravity's final victory!

Horizontal Me

Masks have allowed us to hide jowls for a couple of years, along with food stuck in our teeth and questionable breath. As I researched strategies for avoiding "computer face", I read that if you take a selfie in a supine position, you see the face you used to have. Lying in a horizontal position all day works for some people, but not for me. 

Another recommendation was to put a mirror beside your computer screen/mobile device to remind you to change your facial position every few minutes. My physiotherapist self would tell you to move your wrists, shoulders, spine and hips as well as your eye focus distance and facial muscles. On the job, I wrestle very ill, immobile people into functional positions to encourage their muscles to activate and strengthen. Inactivity is a sure way to hasten ageing. 

I don't know how many more exercise routines I can fit into my day. I have a routine for my degenerating hips and knees, and another for core strength. Facial exercises are amusing, but it is awkward to take a break at your workstation as you curl your lips over your teeth, and force your stretched lips into a smile while holding a pencil in your mouth. (I didn't make up that exercise!) It is better to just get up every so often, take a brief walk, stretch your muscles, and exercise your face by talking to a real person. 

At church this morning, we were introduced to a family of five who arrived from Ukraine two weeks ago. This is the second family from that war-torn area that the congregation is supporting. Their English is very limited and adjusting to a new country will be challenging. My life is so easy in comparison. I can sit on the deck overlooking my garden and write a silly piece about fighting gravity with no need to flee or fight for my life. There is plenty of trouble in the world, but we still need to laugh and enjoy what each day offers, putting aside our self-centred vanity. 

Ecclesiastes 3 offers wise insight into the human condition and starts with the well-known "there is a time for everything" poem. Verses10-13 read as follows:-

I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. 

He has also set eternity in the human heart, 

yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 

I know that there is nothing better for people 

than to be happy and to do good while they live. 

That each of them may eat and drink, 

and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

To Mask or Not to Mask

This week marked 2 years and 3 months since I started my post-retirement job. My employment at an acute care hospital has spanned the entire COVID-19 pandemic. For all but the first couple of weeks, I have worn surgical or N95 masks and a face shield whenever I am on patient units or with staff. I worked today and saw a couple of patients ill from COVID, but the numbers are much lower than during the 4 or 5 waves we have experienced since 2020. This week marks the end of provincially mandated masking in most buildings and public transit. But hospitals are wisely taking the initiative to continue their own masking mandates.

Will I continue to wear a mask outside of work? 

I have not had COVID but I am around infected people often, albeit with full personal protection. I do not plan to get a second booster until the vaccine "recipe" is updated to protect against newer variants. My best protection would be to get a mild breakthrough COVID infection to boost my vaccine-induced immunity. 

I do not wear a mask outdoors. If I was in a well-ventilated indoor space where social distancing was possible, such as Costco or Walmart at 8 AM, I would also feel comfortable without a mask. 

Time is also a factor in transmitting infection. The "15-minute rule" suggests that close contact with an infected person for a cumulative 15-minute period increases the risk of contagion. I also want to be cognizant of the risk of serious infection for people who are vulnerable due to age or pre-existing medical conditions. Masks and good hand hygiene offer protection from many other contagious viruses and bacteria. 

My plan is as follows.

• Continue to be unmasked outdoors in most circumstances
• Do not worry about masking when going in and out of an uncrowded indoor space 
• Wear a mask when I am indoors for a length of time such as sitting in church, in a theatre, sporting event or concert where people are in close proximity, particularly if they are singing or shouting
• Wear a mask around people who choose to be masked, particularly if they appear physically vulnerable
• I will definitely wear a mask when travelling on public transit
• I will still be cautious around unvaccinated people, particularly because my frequent exposure to COVID at work increases my risk of being an asymptomatic carrier. 

I am not sure what "normal" will look like in the future. The measures taken to prevent the spread of COVID have also decreased the spread of influenza and other respiratory illnesses. The ongoing practice of good hand hygiene and isolating when sick with any contagious illness is being considerate to everyone. Whether we choose to mask or not is a personal decision and I will not deride those who choose differently than I do. 

Thoughts on Domestic and Religious Abuse

I came of age in an era when there was very little recognition of domestic abuse against a spouse or child. When I went to university I rented a room in a home where the husband regularly beat his wife. She was a university professor and they had two young daughters. It never occurred to me that this was anything more than a marriage problem but I felt uncomfortable when the wife would talk to me the next day as if nothing had happened the night before. I sometimes wonder if this lady ever left the marriage and how the daughters fared as adults after growing up in this environment. I did some research to determine if my observations about domestic abuse were accurate and found a report from the National Library of Medicine entitled Domestic Violence in the 1970s. Here is a screenshot of the introduction.

I recently heard that a church acquaintance I have known for decades has obtained a restraining order against her spouse because of abuse. Everyone knew they had a “rocky marriage” and depending on who shared the gossip, blame was placed on both parties. My peer had a distinguished professional career and was, by observation, a perfectionist in appearance, household management, motherhood, caring for aging parents, church involvement and more. I see now that for over 4 decades she had taken it upon herself to be the “fixer” of everything, including a marriage problem that she kept to herself for many reasons.

Julie Roys is an investigative journalist who has uncovered corruption and abuse within the Christian church. “The Roys Report is a Christian media outlet, reporting the unvarnished truth about what’s happening in the Christian community so the church can be reformed and restored.” (ref) Her reports have upset many who have power, particularly in patriarchal, complementarian religious systems, but in the end, all accounts have been validated. 

Discovery + released a three-part documentary Hillsong Exposed this year and the abuse coverups and hypocrisies of top leaders are shocking. I watched the entire series and was saddened at the damage this behaviour has done to the witness of the Christian church. When people come to the Emergency Department at the hospital where I work they are asked if they are safe at home and are questioned about domestic abuse on admission. Clearly, most churches do not make similar inquiries and often act to protect the institution rather than the victims. Hillsong Church required their Bible School students and their staff members to sign non-disclosure agreements on arrival in an effort to ensure no formal complaints. This is a huge red flag for an organization!

Time to check for weeds in the garden!

 
The #MeToo movement has empowered more victims of abuse to come forward with their stories and to seek justice from abusers. While there are more social supports available for survivors, many spouses, children and elders remain trapped in abusive domestic situations because of cultural and religious mores as well as economic dependency.

Too many religious groups allow for divorce only if there is adultery, and they often counsel women and children to stay in abusive relationships in order to be a model of Christ-like submission in suffering. This website has a link to a chart which provides current information on 40 church denominations' divorce policies including information on whether divorce is condoned for sexual immorality/adultery, physical abuse, emotional abuse, severe addictions, or abandonment. The current report is very disheartening for those who would seek spiritual counsel for domestic abuse. Abuse has been a cancerous growth within the church for millennia and it is good that victims are coming forward with their stories. But much more needs to be done to protect vulnerable people caught in a power dynamic domestically or institutionally.

A recent hospital patient was a difficult customer, angry, rude, and dismissive as we attempted to care for her. I asked about her family and she told me about her alcoholic mother and the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father and brother. She was a child in an era when there were few resources for victims of domestic abuse and she has suffered physically and emotionally for years. She and I were able to connect and developed a decent clinical relationship. As I was leaving her bedside one day, she grabbed my hand and said, “I wish you were my mother!”

Her words broke my heart as I heard the pain of a damaged person who has never experienced a healthy human relationship.

As a society, we must do better at recognizing and helping people in abusive situations. I do think things are improving and are more open now than when I was a young adult. Churches change at a much slower pace than society changes, but in regards to abuse, important change needs to come quickly within religious organizations. Members need to ask questions of leaders and demand policies that prevent abuse as well as provide support for victims.

"Coincidentally" Humans of New York is sharing a 15-part story on Facebook today that illustrates the struggles of a woman caught in an abusive marriage and religious system. Here is Part 1.