One of these birds is not like the other...

 When our children were young enough to watch Sesame Street, there was a little game that started with the song,

One of these things is not like the others,

One of these things just doesn't belong,

Can you tell which thing is not like the others

By the time I finish my song?

Did you guess which thing was not like the others?

Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong?

If you guessed this one is not like the others,

Then you're absolutely... right!

The temperatures yesterday afternoon were a comfortable -4C and the sun was shining, so we went for a walk on the Linear Trail at the confluence of the Grand and Speed Rivers in Cambridge ON. A variety of water birds migrate to southern Ontario in the winter from the far north and this is a good spot to see a few seasonal visitors. I have seen the odd Trumpeter Swan here in recent years, but yesterday there were dozens of them in the water making their characteristic "trumpeting" calls. This species has been brought back from the verge of local extirpation. Volunteers used to monitor and feed over-wintering swans at Lasalle Park in Burlington ON where the birds were tagged with large yellow numbers. Yesterday I saw only one bird with a tag. It is good to see they are making a healthy comeback without being fed by humans. 

Trumpeter Swans outnumbered Mute Swans in the river yesterday even though they hung out together. The one thing that doesn't belong in the picture is the Mute Swan with the orange beak. 

We also saw a few muskrats enjoying the sunshine and munching on shoreline reeds, along with Common Mergansers, Golden-eye ducks and Buffleheads making for an interesting outing indeed.

Birthday Reflections

I am grateful... 

to celebrate another birthday today. Sixty-five was a big milestone but I remember having a fleeting thought during the first wave of the pandemic that I might succumb to the illness before my next birthday if I continued to work at the hospital. Courage and faith prevailed and each morning I pray with sincerity,

"even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me."

I am supported and uplifted by the love of family and friends. From an early morning Face Time call from a daughter and grandson, another call from a special, namesake aunt, a brother, a niece, an old friend, a gift drop off from our neighbour, the bustling activity in the kitchen as my other daughters prepare a fancy tea, opening gifts that arrived in the mail this week, my husband away on a mysterious errand...

I have goals...

Joan Hoolobon, a science journalist, previous health reporter with the Globe abd Mail, Officer of the Order of Canada celebrates her 101st birthday today. She was born exactly 35 years before me.

Happy birthday to both of us!

Let's Talk Day

The unit I work on at the hospital is normally designated for patients recovering from chest surgery and patients with acute medical respiratory issues. Right now we are a COVID unit;-every one of our patients is COVID-19 positive. As soon as they are no longer contagious, somewhere between day 10 to day 20 of their illness, they are moved to another floor where they continue their recovery. This month I have had patients who are business executives and others who are homeless. There are elderly patients from nursing homes, young adults, and middle aged people with severe symptoms. I have lost count of the number of deaths we have witnessed in the past year. Today another patient went from breathing room air to requiring 100% oxygen and a transfer to ICU within a few hours. Patients and their families often have not given thought ahead of time as to whether they want to be intubated and put on a ventilator. These conversations are difficult when someone is on the brink of respiratory failure. Forty percent of the staff on our unit have had COVID and some are still off work. We have had clusters of patients from various community outbreaks, the last being associated with one church's Christmas Eve services. What we are experiencing in our hospital is duplicated throughout our province, our country and around the world. I have never seen anything like it in my career. 

The team members I work with are amazing, compassionate professionals who provide excellent care to their patients as well as positive support for each other. They have worked extra shifts, gone without vacations, juggled family responsibilities with children out of school. They have have had difficulty getting child care as their children are considered "high risk" for day care centres. They are applauded and also stigmatized in the community. Those who have more than one part time job have risked losing a position in one location because their other workplace is in an outbreak. This is not said to minimize the losses that many other people and businesses have suffered as a result of the pandemic. Many people have experienced economic, social and mental stress. 

I remember family stories about the war years in the 1940s where goods were rationed, manufacturing demands changed, and men and women volunteered for military service. People in Europe endured even more restrictions to their freedom, and sacrifices were made for the greater good of all. My family did not experience the war personally and none of them served overseas, but they did their part in supporting those who did. We need to approach this pandemic like a war, as a caring community, as people who value our health care and social systems, not as people clamouring for individual rights. Thankfully, most people are compliant, but there is a vocal minority who want to return to "normal" sooner than later. The response of our government and health care leaders has not been perfect but we are learning as we go. We are very fortunate for the resources available in Canada.

Today is Bell Let's Talk Day where people are encouraged to be open about mental health issues. The hospital hosted a Zoom meeting at noon where various ways of promoting self-care and resilience were discussed. One suggestion (from a list of 40 items) was to "write a blog" and another was to "take a fresh air break". I walked through the snow to the top of the local sledding hill after work and watched the full Wolf Moon rise before snow streamers moved in and clouded the sky.

And I do feel better!

Stay well, be strong and resilient, let's talk and continue to look out for each other.

January Dawn

January Dawn

After the storm, 

the clouds move eastward. 

While I still awaken in darkness,

morning dawns 

in brilliant colour 

silhouetting the pine trees 

by the river.

Light triumphs over 

darkness 

a sliver at a time

as each day lengthens 

imperceptibly, 

and I remember that 

transient troubles and darkness 

prepare me for 

an eternal weight of

transcendent splendour. 

ERK

The Life of Trees and People

Over the years we have walked many kilometres on the trails of this neighbourhood woodlot. Steckle Woods is a city-owned property with a 1.8 km perimeter trail and shorter intersecting pathways. The area was destroyed by a forest fire in 1805 so the mature trees are no older than this date. It is a great place for a relaxing saunter in all seasons, except perhaps late May and June when mosquitoes are especially pesky. 

The Mummer Tree

I read The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben last year and it made me observe the forest in
more anthropomorphic manner. I loved Treebeard and the Ents in Lord of the Rings and imagine some of the trees with interesting burls, and even some stumps, to be particular friends. Wohllenben's book describes the intelligence of trees and the complexity of their supportive and interconnected root systems. Lonely is the life of a single tree planted on a lawn. A row of single species trees planted in straight lines lacks a sense of community and the healthy environment found in diverse, natural growth. 

This particular woodlot contains a variety of species including Acer sacchrum (Sugar maple), Ostrya virginiana (Ironwood), Quercus rubra (Red oak), Tilia americana (Basswood), Fraxinus americana (White ash), Rhamnus (Buckthorn), Cornus alternifolia (Alternating dogwood), Prunus serotine (Black cherry), Pinus resinosa (Red pine), Pinus strobus (White pine), and Fagus grandifolia (American beech). Identifying trees is not my strength and I wonder if I could verify any species without looking at the leaf or fruit. It is my goal to get better at recognizing the different bark and branch patterns of our native trees. 

While I understand the need to limit social gatherings during the current pandemic, prolonged isolation and fear have had a profound and negative impact on some people, particularly the elderly and those with chronic mental and physical health concerns. I see patients who have stayed in their homes for months, getting no physical activity or socialization. My sister-in-law had a severe heart attack in May 2020. She developed delirium in the hospital and was isolated for weeks from the family due to visiting restrictions. In the end, she passed away in August without ever being able to return home and left us feeling that we had abandoned her. I think of her as a "COVID casualty", much the same as a person with the actual virus. 

I hope we come out of the pandemic with a greater appreciation of the importance of community and the value of support we derive from family and friends. COVID has revealed the inadequacies of our long-term care facilities where people are often warehoused away from their natural environments with inadequate care. As a first-world society, we have sought independence more than interdependence. Of course, there are exceptions to this generalization and many families and caregivers give and love sacrificially. I have friends and family (shout out to cousins this year) who have provided exceptional, loving, end-of-life care for their parents. 

I love the diversity of nature and the delightful discovery of a new bird, flower, tree or hidden animal. What a boring place the world would be if we all expressed ourselves in the same way. Healthy communities will be diverse yet interconnected and supportive of new growth. 

Will Churches Survive COVID-19?

The last time we attended church was March 8, 2020 but I have accumulated enough church attendances to fill two lifetimes of weekly visits. I was born on a Sunday and attended church the next Sunday, every Sunday morning and many Sunday evenings thereafter for decades. My parents were always involved in ministry making our attendance mandatory, participatory and never passive. Churches of the 1950s, 60s and 70s were usually led by one pastor and volunteers from the congregation who led the choir, taught Sunday School, discipled youth and organized everything from Christmas concerts to Sunday School picnics. 

A shift toward multi-staff churches started in the 1980s with paid associate pastors, youth pastors, worship leaders and childrens' pastors. Congregational volunteers gradually transitioned to minor roles such as ushers, greeters, and assistants in children's programs. As more women entered the work force, their availability as church volunteers decreased. Church attendance has been dropping in North America at a steady rate and temporary church closures due to COVID-19 have hastened this trend. Hardly any of the children I taught in Sunday School over a 25 years period attend church as adults. Church has become less relevant to me in recent years even though I remain a spiritually engaged person. I am not surprised that people have dropped out of church permanently over the past year.

Sunday shopping was allowed in Ontario beginning in 1992. As a hospital employee, I had worked rotating weekends for years but now workers were needed in retail positions seven days a week. Students and young adults are most likely to fill irregular part time retail positions as well as part time work in essential services. Many younger people I know, even those with university degrees, work more than one part time job. My co-workers who worked full time 12 hour shifts at the hospital had only one Sunday a month where they were not working or sleeping. But most churches continued exclusively with Sunday morning services and wondered why congregations were getting so grey. Churches have been slow to address the changes in society over the past generation.

COVID has pushed the world online and churches that adapted quickly have had opportunities to increase engagement with people who would not or could not attend church physically. Churches that have been slow to adapt risk becoming permanent COVID casualties. Paradigm shifts can be missed when they are gradual, but an abrupt change demands rapid adaptation. 

Christian growth starts with a personal commitment to being a Christ follower with an authentic 7-day-a-week faith. Church growth is not measured by the number of bodies occupying a pew for 75 minutes on a Sunday morning, but by the production of true disciples who follow Jesus in humility and service to others outside of church walls. When COVID is over, there will be empty stores, offices and church buildings but church has always been about people, not physical structures. 

I am looking forward to being part of the change and seeing a church that is organic, meaningful, inclusive, and based on God's principles of righteousness, justice, truth and love. 

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne. 

Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants. 

Psalm 89:14

Front Line View of COVID-19

I retired from my full time job as a physiotherapist on a geriatric assessment and neurobehavioural unit on February 14, 2020. An opportunity for a short term contract, 2 day a week position at another city hospital came up that week and I applied thinking it would be nice to wind down my career gradually over the next nine months. 

The first day of my new job was March 9, 2020 and one week later, COVID-19 arrived in Canada and changed everything for everyone everywhere. I will not forget the first COVID patient I treated, and the nauseous fear I felt as I donned layers of protective gear outside her room. We have learned a lot about COVID since March and treatments have been optimized allowing better outcomes for many patients. I am no longer afraid.

We are now entrenched in wave 2 of the infection and a couple of weeks ago, our hospital reported that one in five patients currently admitted was there because of COVID. At this time my unit is a dedicated COVID unit and while the majority of patients on a given day are considered "resolved", they are still very ill and debilitated. Even those that do not need ICU treatment can have disabling problems that last for months. 

It has been very difficult to listen to people who feel that the current vaccines are dangerous and have been pushed through too quickly. I cannot share specific details and stories about what I see on the job, but I wish that everyone could spend half a day in the hospital with people recovering from the illness. I received the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine on December 31, 2020 and could not have asked for better gift for the new year. 

I will get my second dose in two days and feel privileged to be at the front of the line. I am well aware that richer nations have access to vaccines ahead of many poorer nations where health care workers also deserve timely protection. 

My expectation of retirement has been turned upside down but as I look back on the last 11 months, I am grateful for many things. I am thankful for good health, amazing coworkers, the opportunity to learn new skills and the privilege of helping sick patients in their recovery. My contract has been extended and I am working more than two days a week, but I enjoy the contact with other people and the structure that the job provides in my life.

Our society has been greatly inconvenienced by the lock downs and vulnerable people are suffering in prolonged isolation. Canadians have the privilege of universal health care but that brings the responsibility making sure the system is not overburdened to the point of collapse. Our hospitals are at capacity. The pandemic is taking its toll on health care workers, many of whom have not had vacations in a year, who are juggling child care with school closures, along with those who have become ill. There is not an endless supply of trained workers to take their places when they are unable to work. So we care for each other, and follow the guidelines, and wait...

This will come to an end. 

Moving forward

 

I started my first blog Body Soul and Spirit in 2006 and over the next several years, chronicled my journey through life on a personal and spiritual level. The next 15 years brought many external changes and I changed as well. How unnatural it would be if maturity did not bring any transition, preferably growth over decay!

My mother was the biggest fan of my first blog and when she died in 2013, it became more difficult to motivate myself to write and share. Blogging had been largely displaced by quick shares of a few words or pictures on other social media platforms. Our collective attention spans had shrunk to absorbing only mini-bytes of information at a time, often without critical thinking or verification. 

My milestone birthday was in the first month of 2020 and no one had any idea at that time how the world would be altered a few short weeks later. I was preparing to retire and had a mental image of what the next few years would look like, visiting our grandchildren, travelling, and volunteering. The events of the past 11 months are unprecedented in my years, but life for me has been rewarding and replete with new learning and perspective. For that I am very thankful.