Looking Back

Time gives a perspective that is not available in the midst of our current life experiences. We get caught up in the present or in planning for the future and do not take time for a retrospective evaluation of past events. We watched Rings of Power this month which is a prequel to Lord of the Rings. It is based on the appendices of Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien with brief references to The Silmarillion which was edited by Tolkien's son Christopher Tolkien. These background stories bring light and understanding to the conflicts described in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I love the ferry crossing between Manitoulin Island and Tobermory Ontario. My favourite spot is at the back of the vessel where the sun is setting and seagulls follow the wake of the boat. Standing at the front is windy and cool, but the rear is protected and calm in comparison. Family stories are important but our first-world North American culture has lost many generational storytellers as communities are fragmented and families are blended. People pay therapists to help them uncover the meaning of life experiences and navigate the wake of past events they may not understand. There always is a wake.

I am not a psychotherapist but as a physiotherapist, I sometimes have my patients look back to see how their past vocation or postural and activity habits have contributed to current functional impairments and pain. What kind of pillow or mattress are you using? Show me the wear on your shoes. How much time are you spending on your screen? My patients often forget to mention important past events or I will get different versions of the same story from different family members. Likewise, our family stories become almost legendary at some point but they do hold some insights and truth.

We had a wonderful visit with my father's youngest sister yesterday. She is our last link to first-hand stories from Dad's family. I truly regret that I did not pay attention to my grandparents' stories or ask my parents for a retrospective look back on their lives. I remember Dad saying in his last years that if he could do things over again, he would make some 180-degree turns on decisions he made. He was very private and never elaborated on what he meant by his cryptic reference. My aunt and I reminisced and there were several "ah-ha" moments in the conversation as I understood some confusing childhood memories. I am so grateful for her honesty and willingness to share her stories.

In John 13 Jesus washed the feet of his disciples demonstrating that servanthood, not power was the defining focus of his ministry on earth. Peter protested when it was his turn and Jesus said,

“You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”

The Gospel of John was written decades after this event and by then the writer was in the "someday you will understand" stage of life where confusion and chaos were replaced with clarity and comprehension. 

The church we attend celebrates All Saints' Sunday next week and "those who died in the Lord and received Christian burial from our church are remembered". My husband's parents will be two of the people remembered and it will be the first time I have participated in a service like this. It is good to look back, not from a place of pride and judgement, but from a place where we can acknowledge our own vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and inherited biases, and share in the joys and sufferings of others. 

Currently reading:  Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Listening to:  In Winter's House by Tenebrae

"Indian Summer" Comes to an End

View from our deck at sunrise this morning as clouds move in

We have enjoyed a week of warm temperatures, clear skies, misty mornings and brilliant late fall colour. This weather pattern was called Indian summer throughout my lifetime, but the word "Indian" as a description of North American indigenous people is no longer used so I am uncertain what to call this week. But I have spent as much time as possible outdoors.

Indian summer is a brief period of mild summer-like weather that occurs after the first frost. Winds are calm, days are sunny and nights are cool as high pressure dominates the atmosphere. It appears in North America and Europe and is called various names, including gypsy summer, poor man's summer, old woman's summer, little autumn of the geese, pastrami summer or by an assortment of saints' names whose days are celebrated in autumn. I saw a news article today about the lovely Indian summer in Great Britain this week, so I suppose the expression is not censored. There are many songs, books, poems and paintings that use the term "Indian Summer" as a title or in their content.

The sun moves along a lower arc as the earth tilts away from the sun in our hemisphere. The contrasting sunlight and shadow of mid-autumn through late winter is a photographer's friend.

The trail I use for my commute to work is brilliant with yellow and gold colours from Silver Maple, Sugar Maple, Beech, Oak and Black Walnut trees. I ride to work in the dark now, but I often stop on the way home to admire the view. I particularly like the stand of Silver Maple trees with multiple co-dominant trunks and bright yellow foliage.

Our city has planted many Autumn Blaze Maple trees in parks and on boulevards. They are a hybrid cross of Red Maple and Silver Maple. The leaves of this fast-growing tree turn bright red later than the native Red Maple. 

Clouds moved in this morning and a cold front brought wind and rain that brought down many more leaves during the day. We had a little snow before this warm week but more will be on the way soon. I have no complaints after this exceptional autumn.

Morning mist at sunrise yesterday

Eighteen Years Ago Today

Mom at Riversong- October 13, 2004 (Kodak Easyshare)

I took this picture of Mom on October 13, 2004. She and  Dad were here for a fall visit and I took a day off work to tour the region north of our city with them. Riversong is a banquet hall situated on Hawkesville Road at its junction with the Conestoga River near St. Jacobs, Ontario. Old Order Mennonite buggies share the highway here an OOM meeting house is about a kilometre away on Three Bridges Road. Riversong's parking lot is a safe place to stop and enjoy autumn colours along the river. 

I got my first digital camera in 2004 and the picture on the left was taken with my Kodak EasyShare DX4530. The 5MP camera had 3x optical and 3x digital zoom and it took better pictures than my cameras that used film. This camera really changed my life. I started taking nature pictures and due to the instant ability to see them on the computer, I began to identify birds, plants, trees, insects and all things natural. The camera was my motivation to explore natural areas near our home.

Several cameras later, I still love taking pictures. 

Ruth at Riversong- October 13, 2022   (taken by Becka with an iPhone 11)

I decided to visit Riversong again today and did not realize until I started this post that it is exactly 18 years ago today that I was here with Mom and Dad. The maple tree is much larger and the evergreen in the foreground of the first picture has been removed. This phone camera takes better scenery pictures than any point-and-shoot digital camera I have owned. I am trying to resist updating my phone just to have the latest iPhone camera. (Yes, I know that other phones have excellent cameras too)

Here are some more "October 13th" photos.

Mennonite farmer harvesting corn near Hawkesville ON - October 13, 2004

Conestoga River October 13, 2022

Conestoga River- Riversong on the left - October 13, 2022

Old Order Mennonite meeting house -Three Bridges Rd, (part of the TransCanada Trail) October 13, 2022

Happy Thanksgiving!

The months of May and October need to be duplicated each year in our part of the world, perhaps in exchange for March and November. May is the month of spring flowers and, according to Albert Camus,  

"Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower".

The local fall colour is spectacular this year. For the past decade or more, I have gone to a nearby park each Thanksgiving weekend to watch the sun as it rises over the Grand River. It is important to arrive at least thirty minutes before sunrise as the dawn sky is often brilliant before the sun appears. Each year the skies and trees are a little different. This is the first year there was no mist over the river valley as there was some cloud cover and a breeze was present. 

I love to talk to the people who come to the lookout to see this spectacle. This year there was a man who came with his elderly parents. His father could barely walk with canes but the son helped him find a good vantage point where he could sit and rest. A couple of foreign students came with selfie sticks and a middle-aged lady set up a tripod and camera, collecting dozens of photos. Another person stood and quietly recited prayers. I am always in good company here.

White-throated Sparrow

I stepped out on the back deck this morning and noticed a flock of sparrows on the lawn. I figured they were the usual House Sparrows but then heard the distinctive song of the White-throated Sparrow singing "O sweet Canada Canada Canada". These sparrows pass through each spring and autumn and stay for only a few days to rest and eat before continuing their migration north or south. Dark-eyed Juncos have arrived for the winter along with American Tree Sparrows. There is no need to put bird feeders out yet as the garden has plenty of seeds from flower dead-heads.

We had guests for Thanksgiving dinner for the first time since 2019. Covid-19 interrupted our usual family gatherings and it was a pleasure to visit indoors again. The fridge is bulging with leftovers! The bounty of harvest time is something we cannot take for granted in a world where drought and war have been a stark reality for far too many people. 

I read a book this weekend that is one of the best stories I have read in a long time.  Ordinary Grace: A Novel by William Kent Krueger explores themes of loss, love and redemption through the eyes of a thirteen year old son of a Methodist preacher. (Sadly, this book is unlikely to find it way to a church library shelf due to some language but it is better than 99% of "Christian" novels). 

The father preaches at his own daughter's funeral and says,

"For each of us, the sun sets and the sun also rises and, through the grace of our Lord, we can endure our own dark night and rise to the dawning of a new day and rejoice.

Thanksgiving is an attitude that is not based solely on current circumstances. It acknowledges the blessings and sorrows of each day and maintains hope for grace and beauty in the future.