The End of May 2021

 

May is such a beautiful month and is one of my favourites of the year. This spring fluctuated between unseasonably warm and unseasonably cool. But my garden is seven to ten days ahead of schedule with the Oriental Poppies blooming this week rather than in June. I keep meaning to buy some Red Poppies or Flanders Poppies which bloom in the summer as the Oriental Poppies are showy but do not last long. 

The past week has been very cool and temperatures were 0 C yesterday morning when I got up. The cool nights continue which is unusual as in our area, as May 24th is considered the local date that we are free from the risk of frost. The full Flower Moon rose last week and I took this picture as it shone in the evening above an interesting old Roman Catholic church and graveyard in Fallowfield Ontario. 

In the same graveyard an American Robin waited anxiously for me to leave as it held a worm in its mouth for its nestlings in a nearby shrub. 

I am still working on getting a well-exposed and clear picture of a Raven. This one swaggered toward me on a trail in a pine forest where there was considerable light contrast. Obviously this is an ongoing project!

The cold air has created perfect conditions for light pillars. I say goodbye to May 2021 with this beautiful sun pillar seen at sunset a few days ago. 

This past year has been tumultuous to say the least. One year ago today, my eldest nephew celebrated his birthday at the hospital where his mother, my sister-in-law Shirley, was a patient after a heart attack. I brought birthday cupcakes to him in the parking lot as we were restricted from visiting together due to COVID-19. Here we are in the same situation again, but without Shirley this year. Life is precious and we need to live each day to the fullest.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. 

A legacy is etched into the minds of others 

and the stories they share about you.”

Shannon Alder

Quid est Veritas?

May has been a busy month with several road trips to assist in caring for grandchildren in between my working days at the hospital. I am grateful for good health and strength to keep up with this schedule. Last week my intuitive three year old granddaughter asked me honestly, in the direct manner of small children,

"Nana, are you old or are you a little bit old?"

The question came in response to her observation that I was unable to run. Her default locomotion speed is a full run.

Unfiltered "little bit old" Nana birding in Ottawa where mosquitoes outnumbered birds exponentially!

Her question has caused me to contemplate the meaning of truth. We often try to deceive others, as well as ourselves, in regards to what we really are. We may not like our own photos because they do not reflect how we see ourselves. We avoid looking in the mirror or standing on the scale in an effort to avoid the truth that we are older, greyer, more wrinkled, fatter, and flabbier than the idealized internal image we carry of ourselves. We want others to think well of us and our tendency is to get defensive when others reveal the truth about our character. When I had a hip replacement in 2018, I obtained my medical chart from medical records as I wanted to know the details of my assessments and treatment. The anesthesiologist who did my preop assessment wrote that I was "a 63 year old woman who appears her stated age". In my mind, I was a 63 year old who appeared younger than her stated age. 

Truth can be hidden, stretched, rationalized, underrated, and denied. No wonder Pilate asked Jesus his famous question in John 18:38, 

"Quid est veritas? or What is truth?" 

Facts are objective and can be proven, while "truths" are often filtered subjectively through our belief system, culture, and experience. Michelle Good is a Canadian Indigenous author in her mid-60s who recently published her debut, award winning novel called Five Little Indians. According to this article, she "traces the intersecting journeys of a group residential school survivors in east Vancouver as they work to rebuild their lives and come to grips with their pasts." In this interview she says of her fictional story, 

"A thing need not be factual to be true"

The parables of Jesus in the New Testament are a good example of how truth was communicated in a story-telling manner. The parables were sometimes hard to understand and are still open to various interpretations. Jesus deconstructed the religious traditions of the Pharisees and reimagined their views of truth. 

Back to my granddaughter's question...

"Yes",  I told her, "Nana is a little bit old and she cannot run like you." 

There was no need to lie as she already knew the truth. 

Later we were looking at an interactive flannel book with scenes and characters from various Bible stories. I told the stories and placed the characters where they were meant to be on the pages. But the imaginative little Miss P decided she preferred her version of Daniel in the Lion's Den where he had a conversation with Joseph in his coat of many colours and then ended up with the angel in the mouth of a lion. 

Quid est Veritas?!

Sunday Sanctuary

Savannah Sparrow

Grandma D used to tell me that if you looked closely at a group of little brown birds, you would always find one that was different. It took many years before I developed her skill of identifying various sparrows. I like to look for the seasonally visiting "little brown birds" throughout the year. Savannah sparrows return in the spring and are easily identified by their yellow eyebrow. They perch openly and sing on fences and posts in fields and meadows. 

My mother taught my brothers and I many Sunday School choruses and I still see her at the piano, singing with joy and enthusiasm. She used to sit at the piano and sing in the afternoon after she finished the household chores and had dinner prepared. One of the first songs I remember learning as a child was The Birds upon the Treetops.

Savannah Sparrow in song

The birds upon the tree tops sing their song;

The angels chant their chorus all day long;

The flowers in the garden blend their hue,

So why shouldn’t I, why shouldn’t you praise Him too?

Ottawa Lilacs

We drove to Ottawa this week and lilacs of all colours were in bloom along the highways and trails. They are in flower a little early this year but their gorgeous hues were lovely to see.

Who can resist the lovely scent of the lilac bloom?

Psalm 96:11-13 says, 

"Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad;

Let the sea roar, and all its fullness;

 Let the field be joyful, and all that is in it.

Then all the trees of the woods will rejoice

before the Lord.

For He is coming, for He is coming to judge the earth.

He shall judge the world with righteousness,

And the peoples with His truth.

Some days I feel the burden of a world full of injustice and wish that righteous judgement would come sooner than later. A couple of chapters earlier, the psalmist echoes my thoughts in Psalm 94.

The Lord is a God who avenges.

O God who avenges, shine forth.

Rise up, Judge of the earth;

pay back to the proud what they deserve.

How long, Lord, will the wicked,

how long will the wicked be jubilant?...

Today I choose joy, along with the singing birds and the extravagent foliage and flowers of spring. Thinking about God as an Avenger, is an entirely new sermon!

Invasive Species

L-R  Ground Ivy (Creeping Charlie), Milkweed, Lily of the Valley

 The warm weather of the past week brought a spurt of growth to the garden. Iris, poppies, and peonies are developing buds, and a variety of invasive "weeds" are blooming and spreading. Ground ivy, also known as creeping charlie was brought to North America by settlers and had valuable uses as an edible plant and as a source of traditional medicines. The purple funnel shaped flowers are attractive and are of use to wild pollinator insects. But it spreads quickly in places where it is not wanted.  Milkweed is also invasive but is an essential food for Monarch butterfly larvae. I encourage a few plants to grow in the garden to attract butterflies but have to pull out many shoots like the one above growing in my shasta daisies. Lily of the valley are blooming this week and the the flowers have such a lovely scent! After they bloom we will have to pull back new root runners to keep their wild spread in check. 

This afternoon I walked onto our deck and startled a fox in our next door neighbour's backyard. There have been many fox sightings within the city this year which is quite unusual. Their natural habitat is being paved over with new roads and subdivisions all around us and it is not surprising that they are trying to find food in an urban environment. There are plenty of rabbits, voles and squirrels around for the foxes.

A ledge on the ninth floor of the hospital where I work is now home to a pair of Peregrine Falcons and their four chicks. They have been named Care, Faith, Compassion and Discovery after the hospital’s mission and vision. The nest is only visible from the Laboratory Department and access is limited so I cannot see them. The pictures below are from the hospital website and were taken when they were tagged yesterday by members of the Canadian Peregrine Foundation. Construction of an addition to the Cardiac Centre is being halted until the nesting season is over. 

Hospital Peregrines, "Care, Faith, Compassion and Discovery"

It is good to allow some naturalization of our urban landscape and to explore ways to live harmoniously with other species of plants, birds and animals. 

I read an excellent book this week by Cal Newport called Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. The author describes how our addiction to technology, particularly social media, keeps us from living intentional and productive lives. Our attention is slivered into small bytes of information (or misinformation) and meaningful relationships and conversations are replaced by shallow extrapersonal interactions. The book offers concrete suggestions that encourage balance, by acknowledging the benefits of technology while not becoming enslaved to it. 

As I prune back the invasive growth in my garden, it reminds me to monitor invasive habits that rob my time, energy and emotional health. I am delighted that the construction project at the hospital is on hold as we respect the rights of the falcons to raise their young in safety. A good life is a balanced life. 

“What we choose to focus on and what we choose to ignore

plays in defining the quality of our life.”

 Cal Newport

More May Birds

Black-throated Blue Warbler, Yellow Warbler, Baltimore Oriole, Rose-breasted Grosbeak

The best trails are the ones that go through a variety of animal and bird habitats. One of my local favourites is along a river that meanders beside forests, mud flats, old orchards, marshes and creeks. The eagle nest is high above the river where Kingfishers, water birds and gulls are also seen. An old orchard marks the edge of a farm that is now an urban subdivision. Baltimore and Orchard Orioles, Rose-breasted Grosbeaks, Catbirds, woodpeckers and warblers are easy to see in this area.

Eastern Bluebird, Eastern Kingbird, Chipping Sparrow, Grey Catbird (backlit photo)

Meadows are home to Bobolinks, Bluebirds, a variety of sparrows, larks and fly-catching birds like Eastern Kingbirds. Our most familiar birds have adapted to urban environments and I enjoy them as much as the less commonly seen birds. We have taken down our feeders for the season, but the garden, lawn and trees still attract nesting and feeding species.

Song Sparrow, American Coot, Belted Kingfisher (f), Greater Yellowlegs, Solitary Sandpiper

Spring is the best time for birding as this is when birds are generally in their brightest mating plumages. The males are acting territorially with loud singing and displays. And leaves on the trees are still small, making the birds easier to see. Many species are passing through on their way to destinations further north.  We hope to spend a week a few hours north of home this summer and it will be interesting to explore a different variety of habitats. Here is hoping that vacations will be allowed by then!

Do I Model my Best Behaviour at Home?

Mrs. and Mr. Tree Swallow having an animated conversation outside their nesting box

We saw our next door neighbour, a recently widowed older gentleman, in the yard last week. He said he was experiencing the "COVID blues" after a winter of isolation. He has two daughters who would do anything for him, but he did not want to risk contact with other family members due to his significant health issues. Many people who live alone are feeling much the same way after more than a year of lockdown.

On the other hand, there are families who are feeling too much togetherness under one roof. If home was not a safe or happy place before the pandemic, it may be hell on earth now. Even for those who are not in abusive situations, home can be the most challenging place to live with grace and love. People will act in socially appropriate ways at work and outside the home, but may be irritable, impatient, selfish, lazy, angry, and disrespectful toward members of their own household whom we say we love. Home should not be a battleground but should be a place where we model our best behaviour!

I read Jann Arden's most recent book this week called, "If I knew then: Finding wisdom in failure and the power in aging". It is a personal reflection on her own dysfunctional family and her struggles with relationships and addictions in reaction to the stressors she faced. Yet those same forces also pushed her to success as a musician and entertainer. She made one statement that resonated with me after observing many marriages in my lifetime.

"The worst marriages do not end in divorce.

  The worst marriages do not end."

Children from those "worst marriages" often behave in the same way their parents did when they are adults, perpetuating destructive relationship patterns. We do not need to be "doormats" but should respond to conflict in an objective manner, honestly and graciously. Children need correction and direction, but should not be ridiculed or disrespected when they are young or as adults. Boundaries need to be clear and consistent. Love gives attention, offers practical suggestions, and sets limits. If actions are hurtful, love is not afraid to identify the truth, but does so with a goal of restoration. We cannot ignore wrong behaviour as that is dishonest and inhibits relational growth. It is also important that we recognize and correct any destructive patterns of behaviour we experienced in our families as children. 

I have been studying some scriptures which provide wise guidelines for relationships within the home.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  1 Cor. 13:4–5

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, 

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, 

that it may benefit those who listen.  Ephesians 4:29

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, 

slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger

does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  James 1:19-20

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. 

For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, 

cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 1 John 4:20

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves 

with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance 

against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues

 put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Colossians 3:12-14

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 

1 John 3:18

...speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect 

the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.   Ephesians 4:15

I know that as I get older, the day is coming when my children may have to make decisions for my care. I have attended many family meetings where there was much unresolved conflict between family members. I have also attended other meetings where there was a beautiful demonstration of love, patience, forgiveness and compassion between siblings and their parents. Children are the centre of their universe when they are small but must be guided to grow outside of themselves as they mature, learning to appreciate the needs of others. 

Yesterday we watched an adult eagle caring for two eaglets in the nest. One adult hunted and brought back food and then the parents switched roles. The current nest keeper flew off to hunt for the family. Both parents are vital to the survival of their young and both provide vigilant care in the nest. In a few weeks they will be close by as the juveniles learn to fly and hunt for themselves. 

Human parents are major players in the development of spiritually and emotionally healthy children who will soar independently as they mature. We want our children to have the ability to develop and nurture lasting positive relationships. Even when children are adults, parents need to continually demonstrate respectful relationships with each other and with members of their extended families. My own children call out my behavior at times and I am wise to listen to them as they are usually right in their assessment. Respectfully listening to the point of view of another without getting angry and defensive can be challenging but is an important skill to develop. And when we mess things up, saying a sincere "sorry" with a resolve to do better is never inappropriate.

(This article from The Gospel Coalition is a good resource on this topic. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero is another book about family relationships that I have found to be very helpful.) 

Avian Rock Stars

My husband and I spent the morning birding along the Nith River and then stopped by the only place in our region where I see Bobolinks each year. Meadow birds like Bobolinks and Larks have lost much habitat due to farming and urban development. It upsets me to see acres and acres of corn that are destined to fatten cattle quickly for human consumption. This meadow exists because several large telecommunication towers have been erected on the land and access is restricted. It is home to species that are increasingly difficult to find in southern Ontario.

And I was happy to find that Bobolinks have returned from South America for another breeding season. We heard them before we saw them, their distinctive, metalic, bubbly call being very unique. (Here is a link to the sound). The males in their mating plumage are true showmen that remind me of punk metal musicians.

Just look at the back of this male Bobolink in full display! According to information on All About Birds, "after arriving on the breeding grounds, males compete vigorously for territories by singing, displaying, fighting, and chasing each other." Four males were rocking out together as we watched.

Here is the front view of a male showing us why he thinks his mating plumage is the best of the group. Bobolinks are related to blackbirds but they have far more style and attitude than the average blackbird, not to mention their awesome vocals. 

I could have watched them for hours. We saw one man who had parked his car on the rural road beside the field and was sitting in a lawn chair reading a book, presumably absorbing the energy of the Bobolinks. Here is a link to a blog that has two poems about Bobolinks, one by Emily Dickinson and another by William Cullen Bryant.

We had more places to explore and we tallied a good bird count for the morning of at least 35 species. 

Yellow Warbler, Black-throated Blue Warbler, Am. Goldfinch, Baltimore Oriole, Rose-breasted Grosbeak, Bobolink, Savanah Sparrow, Eastern Bluebird, Am. Tree Swallow, Am. Robin, Red-winged Blackbird, Common Grackle, Pileated Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Northern Cardinal, Mourning Dove, Rock Pigeon, Eastern Kingbird, Song Sparrow, Grey Catbird, House Wren, Chipping Sparrow, American Crow, Starling, Brown-headed Cowbird

Great Blue Heron, Am. Coot, Canada Goose, Trumpeter Swan, Mute Swan, Mallard duck, Sandhill Crane, Bald Eagle, Red-tailed Hawk, Turkey Vulture, Wild Turkey, Killdeer

The Merry Month of May!

Spring arrived early in April this year and then it decided to go somewhere else for a month or so. Today was the first day since April 10th that we had seasonal temperatures. The trees and flowers were too far ahead in April so the cool down was good, especially as we have had early morning frosts the last few days. Today was perfect for a walk in the spring woods.

Our neighbours have a beautiful crab apple tree on their front lawn that will be in full bloom tomorrow. I was admiring the buds yesterday and they said, "The flowers will last just a couple of days and then they are done."

It is true that spring flowers do not last all that long, and woodland ephemerals are perhaps the most rushed blooms of all. They must store food to last for a year before the forest canopy comes into full leaf and shades the ground. 

Jack in the Pulpits are one of the later ephemerals to bloom in the spring after the early Bloodroot, Trout Lilies, Spring Beauties, Hepatica, Wild Ginger, Wake Robins and Trilliums are done. (These are the prevalent  wildflowers of this particular plot). I found a couple of early bloomers in the warmer end of the woods. This was one of the first wild flowers I learned to recognize as a child and I still love their fanciful shape. 

A young man stopped us and asked where the pink and green striped trilliums were located. A friend of his, who was impressed with the wildflower display, encouraged him to walk through the bush and see the different colours of trilliums. Trilliums turn pink as they age and a bacterial infection causes the flowers of some plants to have green stripes and misshapen leaves. The green flower is eyecatching, but the plant will not survive for long. 

I was watching for birds and heard a few warblers high in the trees. One White-breasted Nuthatch flew in front of us, but migrating species were hard to find. Warblers move so quickly, it is hard to get a picture without a lot of time and patience. I got one chance at a quick shot of a Palm Warbler before it flew off, but there were Yellow Warblers and American Redstarts around as well. 

May and October...my favourite months of the year!

More Anniversaries!

Continuing with more family history from my mother's side of the family...

Today is the 125th anniversary of Audrey Bulmer Devins' birth and the 113th anniversary of her younger sister, Dorothy Bulmer Gibson's birth. They are pictured together in this photo from 1910 when Audrey was 14, Dorothy was 2 and their brother Fred was 11. 

Grandma told me that her father chose his children's career paths with Audrey going to medical school, Fred going to dental school, both at the University of Toronto. Grandma said Dorothy was the stylish and artistic child who studied art and music. Dorothy married S. Eldon Gibson and Fred married Rose (? maiden name) but neither couple had any children. My mother and her brother had no first cousins.

Dorothy was a stylish child and lady. When I knew her, she and her husband had retired and travelled during the winter months. They made their home in Willowdale ON in the summer. She had a beautiful grand piano and I had to go to her house to give a recital before my piano exams. Her piano ended up in Mom's home and my nephew now has it in Mexico. 

Aunt Dorothy always gave my brothers and I a book for Christmas and I still have her gifts. I also remember the alpaca hats she brought us for winter on one of her trips. 

She and her husband Eldon finally moved permanently to Guadalajara Mexico and Dorothy worked hard at learning Spanish. They were very kind people and Uncle Eldon was the first vegetarian I ever met. Dorothy (1990s) and Eldon (1987) both died in Mexico. 

Here is another undated photo of Great-aunt Dorothy wearing some type of ceremonial clothing. My guess is that this picture was taken around 1918 when she was 10 years old, but I could be off by a couple of years in either direction. 

I am happy to have the picture below of Dorothy (left), Audrey(middle) and my mother Elizabeth (right), along with our daughters. This picture was taken in our home in 1988. This was the last year we all celebrated their May birthdays together at the family farm outside Aurora, with a big picnic of course! Today I celebrate the years these generations overlapped. 

Addendum: This is census week in Canada. I found the Bulmer family on the Canada census from 1901. They have Fred Jr's birthday as 1897 rather than 1899. The family are listed a English speaking Methodists with Fred Sr's income as a government clerk being $900 a year. It is easy to see how mistakes were made in dates and spelling with these handwritten records. The name "Audrey" is difficult to read. I also found an item in a government document about a St Lawrence River treaty with the USA where Fred Sr's name was entered.

Happy Ancestral Mother's Day

L-R- Mary Ann Griffin, Mabelle Bulmer, Melinda Chatterson , Audrey Bulmer (child), 1898

Today is Mother's Day in Canada (tomorrow in Mexico) and this is a tribute to some forgotten mothers in my family. I am continuing to go through old photos from Mom and am trying to remember stories about ancestors that I barely paid attention to when I was younger. I would love to talk to Grandma or Mom for one afternoon to get some answers! The picture above shows a four generation picture with my grandmother as a child, her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I know next to nothing about the generations before my grandmother, Audrey.

This is what I have found out so far about my maternal line starting with dates I know for sure. Other dates are taken from Trees by Dan.

______________________________________________________________________

Mother:

Mary Elizabeth Tolman (née Devins) b. May 5, 1932 (Toronto) d. April 22, 2013 (Tepic, Mexico)

Married April 4, 1953 to John David Tolman

Grandmother:

Mabelle Audrey Cecilia Devins (née Bulmer) b. May 10, 1896 (Toronto)  d. March 13, 1990 (Newmarket)

Married September 15, 1919 to Clifford John Devins 

Great-grandmother:

Mabelle Amelia Bulmer (née Chatterson) b. November 16, 1878 (Toronto) d. ??

Married April 8, 1895 to Charles Frederick Bulmer

Great-great grandmother:

Melinda Chatterson (née Griffin)* b. November 26, 1858 (Nottawasaga, Simcoe Co., Ontario) 

                                                      d. July 6, 1927 (Toronto)

Married November 30, 1877 to Stewart Armstrong Chatterson

Melinda Chatterson, "Aunt Minnie" later re-married a "Mr. Edwards and became Mrs. Edwards". This picture on the left is at her cottage on Toronto Island- 1905

Great-great-great grandmother: (updated June 12, 2021)

Mary Ann Griffin (née Nolan)- b. May 28, 1839 Enniscorthy, County Wexford, Ireland. 

                                                  d. 1933 

She came to Canada in 1843 with her family, just ahead of the great Irish potato famine. 

Mary Ann Griffin had 12 children and Melinda* (Belinda Jane in some records) was her eldest. 

"Grandma Griffin" is written on the back of the picture 

_____________________________________________________________________

Mabelle Amelia Chatterson -1894

This is a photo of my great grandmother Bulmer when she was 16 years old. She was married at the age of 17 in 1895, and my grandmother Audrey was born 13 months later in 1896. Great uncle Fred Bulmer was born in 1897, and Great aunt Dorothy Bulmer (m. Eldon Gibson) was born on Audrey's 12th birthday, May 10, 1908. I received Great-grandmother Bulmer's bedroom suite when I was nine years old and still have it in our home. The bed is an old fashioned three quarter bed which is a size between a single and double bed. I have to order custom mattresses now. That is pretty much all I know about this lady! Her name is spelled 'Mabel' on the geneaology site but is spelled 'Mabelle' on the back of her pictures.

These old photos did not have names and dates written on the back. Grandma and Mom had added descriptions years later after most of these ladies had died. Perhaps it never occurred to them that they would be forgotten in time or that a great-great-great granddaughter would want to know more about their lives. Other cultures have oral traditions and remembrances of ancestors that we do not observe in western society. 

These ladies live on in me and my children and I honour their memories on this day. 

The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

Psalm 103:15-16

I want to, but I don't want to...

Our three year old granddaughter asked me if we could go visit a cemetery. We visited one last year and Miss P was enamoured with the old statuaries. She is a girl after my own heart! Both she and her little brother, Master A, love the outdoors and any fresh air excursion. 

This is tulip time in Ottawa but the annual Tulip Festival is cancelled for a second year due to COVID-19. We drove by Dow's Lake where the main tulip beds are, but the area was too busy for small children to be safely socially distanced. We went to Beechwood Cemetery instead, which is the National Cemetery of Canada. Many famous Canadians are buried here and important graves have story plaques in a series called Great Canadian Profiles. The grounds are expansive and beautiful and we explored just one small corner. It is a great place to visit if you want to learn more Canadian history. 

It was finally time to leave and we circled back to the parking lot. Miss P was told that it was time to go to the car. She responded very seriously and philosophically.

"Nana, I want to go to the car, but

I don't want to go to the car.

I should go to the car, but

I don't want to go to the car."

She has grasped, at a very young age, the dilemma all humans face throughout life. We don't always want to do what we know we should do. Self-control can be so difficult, even for adults. In the end, she came to the car without a fuss or bribe. I hope she will always be able to make the right choices throughout her life, at least most of the time. No one is perfect.

The Apostle Paul talked about this in Romans 7:15-20 as well and Miss P really paraphrased his words.

"I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. 

Instead, I do what I hate...  I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 

I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway...

(Spoiler alert...the solution is in Romans chapter 8)

Happy Birthday Memories of Mom

Christening napkin ring "M.E.D" 1932

I brought a suitcase of miscellaneous pictures, papers and other items from my mother's house back to Canada after she died in 2013. They were stuffed in the back of my closet until I went through them recently. One interesting item was this silver napkin ring, engraved with Mom's birth initials. 

Engraved silver napkin rings were a common christening gift at the time Mom was born. Apparently napkin rings were used to identify personal napkins on the table between weekly wash days. I remember washing and ironing handkerchiefs in my childhood, but we never had washable napkins except for occasions like Christmas dinner. 

Our mother was born on May 5, 1932. She was an active girl who enjoyed skating, tennis, cycling, and horseback riding. She fell when skating at the age of 16 and had problems with a recurrent dislocating shoulder for years afterward. An orthopedic surgeon finally stabilized her left shoulder with a Putti-Platt procedure when she was in her 30s. I used to go to physiotherapy appointments with her at North York General Hospital in Toronto after her surgery, influencing me to became a physiotherapist myself. The picture on the right was taken in her back yard where her father flooded a rink for her in the winter. 

Mom was close to her father who was a doctor in a town north of Toronto. She missed him greatly when he died prematurely of cancer at the age of 52. Mom was only 16 years old at the time. They had a hobby farm five miles from their home where the family spent a lot of time together. Grandad came from the Thornbury-Meaford area and he planted a large apple orchard at the farm, just like the ones in his home area. He also had beehives and sheep. I am sorry I never had the chance to know him, but Mom told us lots of stories about his life. 

I would guess that the picture of Mom with her mother was taken around 1939. The photo was hand-coloured by the photographer and the pigments have stood the test of time. This is the only hand-coloured photograph in the box of old family pictures. Their birthdays were just five days apart and were often celebrated together at the farm when the apple blossoms were open. The family, like all good British subjects, loved picnics and had them frequently in the spring and summer months. Picnics were still a big deal in my childhood. 

I will share other family photos soon to commemorate other special days. 

Blind Faith or Prudence

I am reading Proverbs 14 this week and verse 15 stayed in my mind as it speaks to the tendency we all have to believe something without verifying the context or the messenger. As small children, we believe what parents and teachers tell us and in most cases, this is a good thing. But with maturity, we should learn to question what we are see and hear. 

I am increasingly wary of people who have all the answers. I prefer to interact with imperfect people who may struggle honestly with their faith, people who have different life experiences and perspectives from my own. Anne Lamott is an author I recently discovered. (better late than never!) Her writings are honest, humourous, and open as she discusses struggles with depression, alcoholism, single motherhood in the context of her Christian faith. Growing up in a dysfunctional family in the Boomer generation, Lamott's trajectory in life was far different from my own. But she is a very authentic person who speaks with wisdom gained from experience. 

The late M. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist who returned to his Christian faith in later years, wrote a best-selling book published in 1978 called The Road Less Travelled. In this book he describes four stages of spiritual development. This concept has been adapted by many people but this is an outline of Peck's theory. I have read the book but will use this summary from Wikipedia because I cannot say it better. 

The four stages of spiritual development

Peck postulates that there are four stages of human spiritual development:

• Stage I is chaotic, disordered, and reckless. Very young children are in Stage I. They may defy and disobey and are unwilling to accept a will greater than their own. They are egoistical and lack empathy for others. Criminals are often people who have never grown out of Stage I.
• Stage II is the stage at which a person has blind faith in authority figures and sees the world as divided simply into good and evil, right and wrong, us and them. Once children learn to obey their parents and other authority figures (often out of fear or shame), they reach Stage II. Many religious people are Stage II. With blind faith comes humility and a willingness to obey and serve. The majority of conventionally moralistic, law-abiding citizens never move out of Stage II.
• Stage III is the stage of scientific skepticism and questioning. A Stage III person does not accept claims based on faith, but is only convinced with logic. Many people working in scientific and technological research are in Stage III. Often they reject the existence of spiritual or supernatural forces, since these are difficult to measure or prove scientifically. Those who do retain their spiritual beliefs move away from the simple, official doctrines of fundamentalism.
• Stage IV is the stage at which an individual enjoys the mystery and beauty of nature and existence. While retaining skepticism, s/he starts perceiving grand patterns in nature and develops a deeper understanding of good and evil, forgiveness and mercy, compassion and love. His/her religiousness and spirituality differ from that of a Stage II person, in the sense that s/he does not accept things through blind faith or out of fear, but from genuine belief. S/he does not judge people harshly or seek to inflict punishment on them for their transgressions. This is the stage of loving others as yourself, losing your attachment to your ego, and forgiving your enemies. Stage IV people are labeled mystics.

Peck argues that while transitions from Stage I to Stage II are sharp, transitions from Stage III to Stage IV are gradual. Nonetheless, these changes are noticeable and mark a significant difference in the personality of the individual.

In the past few years, I have been working through Stage III and hope that I no longer "accept things through blind faith or out of fear, but from genuine belief". Stage IV is my goal. 

Dr. Diarmaid MacCulloch, an English historian and scholar, wrote a large book called A History of Christianity: The First Three Thousand Years. His work was adapted to a six part BBC documentary called A History of Christianity and it is currently free to stream at Watch Documentaries . The book and the documentary are historical, not doctrinal and provide a worldwide overview of Christianity that I was never taught. They tell the stories of many brave people who were prudent and gave thought to their steps within their historical and cultural context. It also shows how corruption spreads when "the simple" believe anything and follow corrupt leaders and teachings, often in exchange for political favour and power.

And it is true that history repeats itself over and over again.

Happy May Day and National Physician's Day!

Today is National Physician's Day in Canada, a date chosen by the Canadian Medical Association in recognition of Dr. Emily Stowe, the first female physician to practice in Canada. I posted the picture above on my previous blog, but is is worth showing again. This was the anatomy class at the University of Toronto in 1916 during the time my grandfather and grandmother were studying to become doctors. What is most remarkable to me is that while one student wore sleeve protectors over his lab coat, none of these men wore gloves on their hands while dissecting a dead body. I showed my grandmother's graduation photo in a previous post, and since then I found a speech she gave in the 1980s where she described what it was like to be a woman in a male dominated class at this time. 

Grandma D's handwriting- "some of the men teased us, others ignored us."

I have worked with many dedicated doctors, women and men, and admire their hard work which is done with skill and empathy. Patients expect a lot from physicians, wanting firm diagnoses after a short consultation, as well as quick fixes for complex problems that are often lifestyle related. This past year has been a stretch for doctors and health teams as they treat a new illness in a pandemic setting. The standard for protective gear has reached a new high compared to 115 years ago as current health care workers wear gowns, gloves, masks, respirators and face shields.

So kudos to the medical pioneers in the field like Grandma and Grandad, to my son-in-law, Dr CF, and to all the doctors who I have worked with in our local hospitals and community. 

And to add some May colour to this post, here is May Flowers, a painting by Canadian indigenous artist Daphne Odjig who was born on Manitoulin Island.

Happy May Day to humankind everywhere!

May Flowers by Daphne Odjig