Mortality Salience, Stones and Shawls

Our hospital chaplain attends morning rounds and offers support to staff as well as patients during the day. One morning she asked if any staff member wanted to take part in a stone blessing. Most of those in earshot wanted to participate and one nurse was overheard to say, 

"It can't hurt. I will do anything that helps me get through this."

Mortality salience is an awareness of your own fragility and risk of dying. People usually manage to push this to the back of their minds for most of their lives. We are quick to reach for the book with the title How Not to Die but will bypass the book entitled Being Mortal. (Both are excellent books). The pandemic has increased morality salience in general, and even more so for front line health care workers. These feelings of vulnerability can cause significant anxiety, especially when compounded by fatigue and other stressors. 

The stone blessing was adapted from a the words of Joyce Rupp and Macrina Weiderkehr in the book The Circle of Life. Our chaplain gave each of us a small stone to hold in our hand and said,

..."The stones you hold can serve as a symbol of endurance and courage. I invite you to reflect on a "courage" moment in your life, to think of someone who has helped you to be courageous and resilient at a needed time of your in your life. 

May you believe in your resiliency in difficult times. 

May you have the strength you need to bear life's burdens. 

May your times of darkness and challenge become fruitful souces of growth, gifts to be given to yourself and to our wounded world."

I kept my stone because tactile symbols are meaningful to me, especially when they represent spiritual concepts. In a previous post I mentioned the death of my sister-in-law in August 2020, one of 4 deaths in our family in a 13 month period of time. She was admitted to hospital in May following a heart attack and developed a persistent delirium when she was in ICU. Her son and husband were not allowed to visit at first due to Covid-19 restrictions. Because I worked at the hospital, I was allowed to stay with her for extended periods of time in an effort to calm her fearful, delusional mind. I asked the same chaplain to visit so Shirley could have another familiar face at the bedside when I was not there. The first thing the chaplain brought was a lovely blue prayer shawl which was a tactile symbol that Shirley was remembered by God and those who loved her. After Shirley died, my nephew and niece gave me the prayer shawl, which was a lovely gesture in a time of grief.

There are many symbols that show we care;- cards or flowers sent, a meal prepared, a picture shared, a gift carefully selected. It may be a stone or a shawl, but in a time when personal visits are limited, having something to hold can bring comfort to those who are living with stress, the sick, or those who are isolated and alone.