Numbers Neuroses

Six-year-old me going to school in the pre-digital age
Durban, South Africa

I received my first wristwatch at the age of 7, a small-faced Bulova timepiece that needed to be wound at night. A single spring was attached to a stem and the time was set by pulling the stem out of the wind-up position and turning it to move the hands of the watch. I was proud of the device and looked after it carefully for years. It was my introduction to the importance of time awareness in modern society.

My dad was intelligent but lacked formal education as his father did not allow his teenage children to finish high school once they were old enough to work. Dad had a methodical mind and loved numbers. When we returned to Canada from South Africa in the 1960s, I remember Dad doing mathematics in the evening after work to successfully earn his high school diploma. He was in his early thirties and had four children but realized the importance of upgrading his education. Dad was an early embracer of digital technology and taught me how to use a computer in the early 1990s. I also like numbers and the technology that helps me track many aspects of my life.

Somewhere along the road from my first watch to my umpteenth computer, we have become obsessed with numbers, to the point of anxiety-ridden neuroticism. We used to know the temperature highs and lows of the previous day when they were reported in the news. Weather forecasting was not an exact science and "feels like" wind chill and heat indexes were not widely used until the early 1980s. The Weather Network has become an over-sensationalized site with click-bait headlines. We still need to stick our heads outside to check reality. A destructive tornado ripped through my brother's neighbourhood in Barrie, Ontario on July 15, 2021. They did not get a tornado warning until after the damage was done. Severe weather still bypasses the reports of forecasters.

I can get up in the morning, check my weight, heart rate and blood pressure, calculate the calorie count (or macros!) of my meals, and look at a weather app to see the "feels-like" temperature, wind speed, hours of sunlight, and precipitation forecast. The same device will count my steps through the day along with my walking symmetry, double leg stance time and energy consumption. It reminds me how many minutes it will take to get to an event on my calendar and buzzes when I need to leave. Workplace decisions revolve around numbers. In the hospital, vital signs, lab results, input and output numbers are analyzed and medical treatments are adjusted accordingly. I can now access my hospital and lab reports at home and can track values on my own. On the financial front, constant information on stock prices, exchange rates, oil prices and more is available at the touch of a finger. Songs and movies, political polls, and retail and service industry reviews all come with numeric ratings. Who doesn't note the Amazon stars before purchasing an item? Numbers matter in places like churches and community organizations where success is measured by attendance and monetary giving. 

How can we live intuitively in this world without tracking and measuring every aspect of life? I have not used an alarm clock or a wristwatch in years and my devices are turned off at night. I rest when tired and awaken when refreshed and my body clock is pretty consistent needing adjustment only when switching to and from daylight savings time or travelling across time zones. I know what eating patterns make me feel the best and realize the importance of simple food routines. Sabbath rest is a foreign concept, even or *especially* in churches. We need downtime to hone our senses to the rhythms of our body and nature. Our minds need a rest from a calculated lifestyle.

Anxiety is a hallmark of our modern society and our children need to learn strategies to cope with high-paced, quantitative living. Life is more than a scorecard. 

I watched The Dead Poet's Society starring Robin Williams for the first time yesterday. (It seems I watched nothing but children's movies in the 1980s and 90s). Robin Williams, as English teacher John Keating, makes his students tear out the introduction to their poetry textbook because it uses a mathematical grid for assessing the value of a poem. He says, 

"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." 

He also tells his students, 

"Carpe Diem. Seize The Day, Boys. Make Your Lives Extraordinary.

Psalm 90 speaks about time and the brevity of our human lifespan. The only thing it tells us to number is "our days". 

Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations...

For a thousand years in Your sight

Are like yesterday when it is past,

And like a watch in the night…

The days of our lives are seventy years;

And if by reason of strength they are eighty years,

Yet their boast is only labour and sorrow;

For it is soon cut off, and we fly away…

So teach us to number our days,

That we may gain a heart of wisdom…

And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,

And establish the work of our hands for us;

Yes, establish the work of our hands.

We have become so dependent on our devices in this digital world that there is panic when the internet goes down or if we find ourselves in a place without a signal. I have read a couple of recent thriller novels, not about nuclear war, but about the criminal disruption of digital systems that control every aspect of our lives. People who remember an analog age are getting older and a journey back to the old ways would be very difficult for most of us. We need strategies to manage in an unexpected non-digital world as much as we would need extra food and water in an emergency.  We can start by using our intuitive skills and making time to be disconnected from our devices.

Teach us to number our days
April 1978- Mom and Dad's 25th wedding anniversary in Guadalajara Mexico