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| April 2013 |
Dad's suffering from his long final illness ended four years ago today on September 16, 2019. I took this picture of him in April 2013, the day Mom's ashes were buried in this cemetery in the village of CamichÃn de Jauja MX. His ashes are buried in the same plot which is now surrounded by many more graves and monuments. (Mexican cemeteries are built like miniature urban subdivisions with basic to elaborate structures around the graves.)
My parents were twenty-two years old when I was born and had five children in the next nine and a half years. I feel like the age difference between us has diminished significantly now that I am older. I also think of how very young they were when we were children.
Dad never imagined that he would ever live without Mom. The years after her death were difficult physically and emotionally both for Dad and his caregivers after he was diagnosed with Parkinson's plus syndrome in 2012.
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| Texas, January 2016 |
The last time I had quality time with him was in January 2016 when the family went to an annual January missions convention in San Antonio, Texas. I flew there to help care for Dad during the day while my brother Philip cared for him at night. Dad had already lost a lot of independence, but his sense of direction was 100% and he guided me around the city with ease from the passenger seat. One afternoon we drove north of San Antonio through Texas hill country. Dad was at his best that day and we had a lovely time together. After that trip, he was hospitalized with a stroke and sepsis. His cognitive and functional abilities declined steadily until his death 3-1/2 years later. I believe Dad's time was up in 2016 but as we see too often now, medical interventions extend lifetimes past their expiry dates. He never had a good quality of life again.
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| January 27, 2017 |
I love this picture of Dad's great-grandson following him as he walked around his house with his walker. Adiel patiently pushed his scooter along at the same slow pace. Parents and grandparents have a big influence on their children and grandchildren. I am a mix of both my parents but am most similar to my father in temperament and interests. He shared his love of photography, computers, science and classical music with me as well as an introverted personality. Mom contributed an optimistic outlook that Dad lacked. Dad was methodical, highly organized and very, very private. He wanted control of any family information that was shared with others. He was very thrifty, but could also be very generous. Family was important to him, but he struggled to express his affection openly. I see him in each of my brothers, some more than others, and it is a rare day that I do not think of him.
It is good to reflect on the past and people are more open to discussing family relationships now compared to past generations. I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 this week as part of my yearly journey through the Bible. This chapter on love is quoted so often, but the words were extra meaningful to me this time. The faith of Dad's youth was based on a lot of rules that were not clothed in grace and love. He inched toward the side of grace in later years but would tell me that his goal in this life was to be perfect. That was a great burden for him. I know he would want these words to be true for his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren as we remember him today.
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