The loved ones we call the dead
depart from us and for a while
are absent. And then as if
called back by our love, they come
near us again. They enter our dreams.
We feel they have been near us
when we have not thought of them.
They are simply here, simply waiting
while we are distracted among
our obligations. At last
it comes to us: They live now
in the permanent world.
We are the absent ones.
I have felt my own mortality acutely in the seven weeks since my knee surgery. While I appreciate all the love and care I have received, the thought of losing my independence permanently is difficult to contemplate. I spent my life to this point
"distracted among (my) obligations", not thinking about how "at last it comes to us:"
In the meantime, we live imperfectly in an imperfect world. Wendell Berry wrote the following poem as an antidote for any anxiety we may feel about the future. It mirrors the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:28-34.
The Peace of Wild Things
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
― Wendell Berry, The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry
“If you don't know where you're from, you'll have a hard time saying where you're going.”
In the meantime, we live imperfectly in an imperfect world. Wendell Berry wrote the following poem as an antidote for any anxiety we may feel about the future. It mirrors the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:28-34.
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
― Wendell Berry, The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry
I am practicing life one day at a time, enjoying small achievements and accepting my limitations. I am learning to extend grace to those who have different life experiences and perspectives than my own. I am choosing to remember being loved and giving love rather than dwelling on past injuries and mistakes.
Here is one final Berry quote.
I am grateful for my family, past and present and live with hope, not fear, for the future.
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