Remembering Aunt Betty

Uncle Mel, Aunt Betty and my cousins at Malton Airport when my parents left for South Africa in 1954

Aunt Betty, the wife of my father's older brother, passed away in December 2025 at the age of 99 years. She was born the same year as Queen Elizabeth and carried herself with the same unflappable, gracious manner demonstrated by many in the "Greatest Generation". She also had a great sense of humour and quick wit right up to the end of her life. She lived independently up to her last year and a half, when she moved to a retirement home. I did not know her well and learned nearly everything about her background from Cousin Sharon's chronology at her memorial service. My cousins and their families gave beautiful,  heartfelt eulogies. Everyone echoed memories of her style, her friendliness. sense of humour, and most of all, her interest in others. 

Cousins Sharon, Julia and Paul- December 1962. I am with my brothers in the background

Our family of five returned to Canada in the summer of 1962, just before the new school year started. That Christmas, Mom had all of Dad's family for Christmas Day dinner.  I was given perhaps a dollar to buy Christmas gifts, and excitedly went to the local Stedman's 5 and 10 (cent) store to buy gifts for the family. I remember buying a pair of 5-cent tweezers for Aunt Betty, wrapping them securely, unboxed, with more tape than paper.  I gave them to her proudly and remember how hard she worked to extract the tweezers from the wrapping. She made me feel like I had given her the best gift ever. 

Part of the adult table- Christmas 1962. L-R Mom (expecting Mark), Aunt Betty, Granny H, Aunt Ruth
Aunt Lois, Uncle Harold, Grandma D, Uncle Mel 

Our family and the extended family continued to grow. We moved to Toronto, further away from my cousins on both sides of the family. I don't recall a family Christmas dinner like this again. We got together for events like weddings, special birthdays and funerals over the decades. 

My cousin's husband shared his thoughts on "legacy". Aunt Betty did not leave her family a material legacy, but rather a legacy of love and many wonderful memories. Someone recorded her life story before she died,  and it would be amazing to hear it sometime. Cousin Paul shared a very moving way in which the word "Mom" changes in meaning from childhood to adulthood. We go from being cared for by "Mom" to caring and looking out for "Mom". I could see that the love Aunt Betty invested in her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren returned to her in full measure. 

I read recently about a person who, while travelling, was asked who they were. 

They responded, "a teacher and a writer."

The person asking the question said, "That is what you do, not what you are. What are your interests, passions and relationships?"

Aunt Betty's life was not defined by a career, but by her joyful, positive approach to life, her hospitality,  and her keen interest in the people around her. 

Rest in peace, Aunt Betty.