Birthday Musings

Visits with Dad

It has been said that we are defined by those we remember and those whose history we choose to forget. We remember people "who lived in the past" when in reality, no one has ever lived in the past. People have always lived in their present, influenced by the knowledge base, social norms, family ties and political climate of their time. We can look at the past and judge it from our current biases and experiences but must be aware that future generations will also look back and judge our present lives from their own perspective. 

I spent a lot of "my present life" with my father who would have been 92 years old today. In his later years, I talked with him almost daily on Skype and visited him several times in Mexico. I am fortunate to be a link between many generations. I have lived "in the present" with family members whose lifetimes spanned the past 128 years of history. If I count the family connections of my grandparents and great-grandparents, I have been close to people linked to the time when Canada became a nation. In most cases, our parents are the people who shape us the most. Recognizing the influences that formed them is important in understanding who we are today. 

Philosophical meandering aside, I remember Dad today by the food he enjoyed when I was a child at home. 

As children, we were sometimes grossed out by Dad's food choices. He considered pickled herring a special treat and liked strong cheeses like Limburger. He enjoyed black licorice and insisted on having almond paste on Christmas fruit cake. I now know that these food preferences came from his Dutch father, Simon. Mom often baked seed cake for Dad and he was the only one who ate it. It was a sweet loaf containing caraway seeds. Pound cake with caraway is British, not Dutch and I wondered if his British mother or grandmother brought the recipe with them when they came to Canada. I asked my aunt if she had a recipe; sadly, she has no family recipes. In memory of Dad, I decided to make a seed cake and see if my tastes had changed with time. 

I found a recipe that looked like the sweet loaf that Mom used to make. Caraway seeds and black licorice have similar, unpleasant flavours to my palate and I hoped the sugar and butter would compensate adequately. 

Surprise! I liked it, as did everyone in our household. In looking up recipes, I discovered that Bilbo Baggins loved seed cake making it a perfect addition to a Hobbit tea party. If Bilbo Baggins loved this treat, we know it was likely a favourite of J.R.R. Tolkien. 

Dad enjoyed many different foods in his lifetime. When he and Mom moved to Mexico they embraced the cuisine and came to enjoy the flavours of their adopted country. I doubt Mom made seed cake after they moved from Canada. Dad never lost his love of peanut butter, maple syrup and Canadian cheddar cheese and always asked family members to bring some when they visited Mexico. Dad never drank coffee or tea because his father forbade caffeinated beverages and alcohol at home for religious reasons. He would have a cup of hot Postum in the morning until it was too hard to find anymore. Mom drank a cup of instant coffee each day but never served coffee or tea to guests. It isn't surprising that a couple of my brothers never acquired a taste for coffee or tea. (I was introduced to tea in my Grade 7 home economics class and loved it immediately.)

Cut flowers are beautiful for a few days but quickly fade and die. History, whether mundane or profound, is important in giving a sense of who and why we are. We do change, and we must change with time, but moving ahead without any sense of history is like planting rootless, cut flowers and expecting them to flourish. This is true in families, religions, politics and every aspect of social and cultural life. 

Today, Canada celebrates its 157th birthday which is very young compared to other nations. This great country has also shaped me. It became home to family members who immigrated from Holland, England, Switzerland,  and the United States for economic opportunities, and religious and political freedom. People from around the world still come here for a better life. Canadians must not forget how poorly Indigenous sons and daughters of the land have been treated, even in my lifetime. We cannot go back and change the past, but rooted in history, we can make wise and just choices for the future. 

In the meantime, I will enjoy the present day with a cup of tea and a slice of cake. 

Parliament Hill, Ottawa