Neighbours

Our neighbourhood park

We have lived in two different houses on the same street for almost 48 years. When the subdivision was new there were plenty of young children and more stay-at-home moms. I knew most people on the street. We still have a few neighbours we see regularly who have lived on the street as long as we have, but it can be challenging to make the acquaintance of newer families who are scarcely seen. 

Our longtime next-door neighbour lived alone and was very reclusive, especially after she retired. We would see her occasionally as she did yard work or talked to us across the fence. We hadn't seen her for many weeks and her grass had not been cut this year. A few days ago I called the police requesting a wellness check as she did not answer the phone or door when we attempted to call her. The police came and gained access to the house noting that she was not well, but she refused to leave her home. Two days later, her sister came from out of town to see if things were all right as she had not been able to reach her either. Sadly, when she and her husband arrived, they found she had died in her bed sometime after the earlier police check. Another neighbour and I sat with the shocked family over the next few hours as the police and coroner investigated the circumstances around the death. The next day, a lady who lived across the road two houses down died in hospital. I heard her name for the first time after she passed. Surely I can do better at getting to know the people around me!

My next-door neighbour was offered the opportunity to get medical help in the days before she died. It was her choice to stay in her house, but I hope she knew that people on her street cared about her well-being. The other lady who died received medical treatment for cancer and had a supportive extended family. She had recently retired and I do not remember seeing her much in all the years she lived nearby.

I have talked to more neighbours in the past two days than in the past two years. I discovered we have lovely, caring people around us but we have all been too busy with our own lives to make connections that make a neighbourhood neighbourly. We have a private fenced-in yard with a deck that hides the view from the street. The couple across the road sit on their front porch daily and know many more people than I do. It is time to move my lawn chair to the street side of the yard from time to time so I can greet and talk to people who pass by. 

The park at the end of the street is busy in the evenings as families and young people gather in groups on the lawns, playground, volleyball and basketball courts. I estimate that 95% of the people using the park are international students or new immigrants to Canada. They appear to do a better job of creating community connections than some of us who have lived here all our lives. 

I see many isolated and lonely people in the hospital. Meaningful social contact is important for optimal mental and physical health and neighbourhoods are safer when people know each other. This week was a wake-up call and nudge to make contact and nurture relationships in my small part of the world.